Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Student Drawings Vol. 18 – The Harengers!

Hello all! Welcome back to another school year. This has been a very busy year so far but I have gathered a pretty good collection of drawings. Enjoy.

I had students fill out some note cards about themselves.

photo 2 (5)

I had three cards that commented on my beard. And then I shaved it two days later.

photo 3 (6)It makes me feel gross knowing that I have sophomores who read 50 Shades of Grey

A seahorse drawing competition:

photo 1 photo 2

photo 3 photo 4 photo 5  

All 5 of these are pretty decent. The bottom left one is probably the most accurate. I don’t know what animal is in the top right but I want one.

photo 1 (1) Haven’t we all just wanted to dance some ballet on top of a stack of pancakes while orange juice pours around our feet? Not without a weird guy yelling at you from behind some clouds and a mini man climbing a ladder, you say? I wouldn’t dream of leaving out a fish and the fact that this is all underwater. A dream come true.

photo 1 (2) Just when you thought the last picture started to get creepy, this weirdo smiles at you.

photo 1 (3)Rawr! + flower + Beat it + Michael Jackson = Dinosaur. It’s science.

photo 1 (5) What is Hulk smashing? It looks like he’s just constipated.

photo 1 (6) I’m hoping that “colledge” is not a typo and that this person is just cool. They want to put the “edge” in college.

photo 2 (1)If Obama wants more votes, he should incorporate Zombiebear into his campain. Also, that zombiebear has man-feet.

photo 2 (2) This spider caught a couple of apostrophes. They show that he owns them. Because they’re apostrophes. And apostrophes signify possession in English grammar. Get it? Hilarious.

photo 2 (4) Nothing funny about this. Just a very nice drawing.

 photo 3 (2) Brown sticks?!?! Well I never! Wait a minute. Oatmeal? Nevermind, we’re cool.

photo 3 (3) An equilateral triangle turned into a bear.

photo 3 (5) This woman looks stitched together and it kind of creeps me out. If you were to just pull one thread, she would fall into dozens of pieces.

photo 4 (1) I wish I could assign homework in class like this.

“What problems do we have to do Haren?”

“Evens mofo!” Drops mic, walks out of the room.

photo 4 (2) This is the same person who wrote the note about oatmeal above. They are great at drawing in the reader with negativity and then springing food on them.

“Imma beat you” – Okay, let’s see where this is going.

“goldfish crackers” – Whaaaaaat? I’m not even mad. It’s like M Night Shyalaman directed that story.

photo 4 (3) Oh lord.

photo 4 (5)Married couple. This would be the sort of couple that asks you over for dinner and sits silently as you eat. The wife offers you pie and you politely decline. Then her eyes go all spirally and you are never heard from again. Moral of the story: always say yes to pie.

photo 5 (1) Thanks Vinnie. I’ll never forget this.

photo 5 (2) I saw this and thought to myself, has anyone else on twitter used #geniousstatus before. Turns out two people have in the past week. One of them stated they earned 30/60 on a test. Genious [sic] indeed. (This was from an AP student.)

photo 5 (5) “Sporty Spice”

This is the first note I intercepted this year. Usually I don’t get too excited about notes because they are typically dumb. When I took this one from a student, he turned BRIGHT RED and was very embarrassed. I left the note folded up and did not read it until after class. I was kind of excited because I thought it would be something interesting. NOPE. Turns out all it says is “Sporty Spice”. Big let down.



If you are not fluent in ERMAHGERD speak, that means Calculus. It also means you should click the link and read the hilarious memes.

And finally the best pictures of all. I had a student draw a “Haren” version of each of the Avengers.

photo 1 (4) The picture here is kind of lame but I’m more of a fan of the names. HARULK SMASH!

photo 2 (3) This picture is much better. Tharen sounds pretty dumb though.

photo 3 (4) I think it should be HaronMan. And I think people should refer to me as HaronMan from now on.

photo 5 (4)

Scratch that. From now on, refer to me as Captain.

photo 4 (4) 

My vote was for The Harevengers but Harengers won out. Coming to a theater near no one.

That’s all folks. Enjoy the fall weather.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Student Drawings Vol. 17 – End of the year

This is my last post of the year. It has been an entire quarter since I posted anything so I have quite a few pictures for you. A good number of these drawings will be linked out to videos. Many of which are hilarious, so click the links. Enjoy!

We’re going to start with some nice, old-fashioned chalk drawings.

photo 1 (13)photo 1 (8)

I can’t figure out who this guy reminds me of. It might actually be someone I know in real life, I’m not sure. If anyone has ideas, let me know.

photo 2 (11)

There is a pretty good Demetri Martin bit related to this. His chinstrap beard also looks very similar to the one I grew in high school. I regret that decision…ladies.

photo 3 (8)

This guy has a pretty awesome butt-chin. He also reminds me of an old Saturday Night Live skit with Will Ferrell.“I DRIVE A DODGE STRATUS!” (Clip is about 5 min but it’s worth it.)

photo 5 (9)photo 4 (8)

This student is pretty talented but every one of these guys looks the same. I want to see some variety.

photo 4 (11)

What makes this one so amazing is the reference to the “berks” meme. This is a relatively new meme online that is one of my favorites. Click the link and enjoy.

photo 2 (8)

That is no chicken. It’s a pigeon. It is nearly identical to the drawing from “Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus”.

photo 4 (1)

“I am a BANANA!”

This picture is from a series of “rejected cartoons” a guy made for the Family Learning Channel. They are pretty hilarious. If you watch the video and at any point you think something is too weird, just stop because it only gets weirder and weirder as it goes.

photo 1 (1)   photo 3 (1)photo 2 (1) 

Wonderful mural of Hipsters vs. Preggos. The Hipsters are sporting references to Radiohead, Manchester Orchestra, and Neutral Milk Hotel. I wish I knew this student, even if he is making fun of Hipsters, he knows some great bands. Unless of course he wears one of those stupid hats that hangs off the tip of your head and is completely ornamental and serves no purpose at all especially because you are wearing it in the middle of 90 degree weather. I hate those hats with the passion of a million suns.


And now for some writing found on bathroom walls (warning: may include vulgar language):

photo 1 (12) 

The thing I don’t get with bathroom graffiti, is that it is drawn by guys and only seen by guys. That being the case, why do they write sexual related things and include pictures of penises all the time? That being said, I laughed when I read this.

photo 2 (7) 

Some pretty serious bullying going on here. I love this one because whoever wrote this has done it multiple times. There are at least 3 or 4 instances of nice graffiti around campus.

photo 4 (2) 

Truth. (I’m going to let it pass that immature is spelled wrong. Unless of course he did it on purpose; highlighting the stupid part of the quote.)

photo 5 (2)

Nothing says gangsta like “spermlife”. I don’t really want to be in a gang in the first place(the Mafia is a different story), but a gang relating to living a spermlife instead of a thuglife?! Seriously, who the hell thinks of this crap?

photo 1 (2) 

Impressively drawn stickman. Nearly misspelled “enough”. Nice save.

photo 1 (4)

Wisconsin. Your fans are ridiculous. I’m not even a sports fan but I do like cheese and the idea of cheese being your go to claim to fame is dumb. Phew! Glad I got that one off my chest. Now it’s time to go talk to the Cleveland Browns. You’re known as “the Browns”. Haven’t you heard the old Confucious saying - If you have a name that means poop, you will play like poop.

  photo 1 (5)

Very well drawn on white boards. Students’ artistic ability always amazes me. I love art in general and when a student who is so young has such great talent it is awesome.

photo 1 (7)

For all of you out there planning weddings, I hear DJ Fuc Dog is available.

photo 1 (9)

“This test should be illegal.”

I’m pretty sure that student earned at least a B on it. Must have been a rough one.

photo 1 (10)

More with the big ears. And gauges. And 2 tear drop tattoos. They are filled in, you know what that means. You should be scared.

photo 1

I can’t tell you how much I’m impressed by how clearly this person can say OMG whilst also puking. That’s real talent. That is something to strive for.

photo 2 (4)

So at first glance this looks like a nice cute picture of an elephant. Then you realize it’s actually called an Elephuck. Then you see how pissed off the Elephuck is. Then you see him pooping and not spraying water but barfing. How cute.

photo 2 (9)

This student clearly didn’t listen to any of my zombie ramblings. Sure we don’t have zombies now, but one day they may rise and we need to be prepared. And the whole point of horror movies is to scare you but I can understand if you don’t like that feeling. It just means you’re a girl.

photo 2photo 2 (10)

This guy is stunned by the rhyme. And if you are wondering why the T-Rex even though he is vexed, it’s because he sees the meteor heading towards earth and ending his short-armed existence. T-Rexes are overrated. Allosaurus for life.

photo 2 (5)photo 3 (5)photo 4 (5)

This is going to be a whole cartoon franchise.

photo 3 (4)

I NEED TO KNOW what happens to OCD Guy. This comic has potential but it’s fading fast.


I asked my students to draw me a picture for Friday the 13th, here is a series of Jason Voorhees related pictures.

photo 1 (6)      

Threatening a cat with a chainsaw.

photo 2 (6)     

A different student showing Jason cutting down a tree so it lands on a cat. Clever.

photo 3 (7)photo 5 (7)

Just a good ol’ fashion stabbing.

photo 3 (6) 

Donut and lollipop in hand I am a Pimp.

photo 3 (9) 

“Give me all your loose change!”

photo 3 (10) 

I tried this joke on at least 6 different people and I could not get it to work. My favorite response:

Me: Someone said you sound like an owl.

Student: Really?! That’s awesome!

photo 4 (6)

That is a real quote. Geometry is hardcore.

photo 4 (4)  

I thought it was pretty obvious. I like the student’s excitement (and frustration).

photo 4 (7) 

Difference between first year of teaching and now.

First year: student writes the word zombie on anything and I get excited.

Now: That cat doesn’t become a zombie cat just by adding the word zombie to the title. That’s obnoxious.

photo 4 (9) 

Yep. This is real.

photo 4 (10) 

Is it a volcano? Is it a sombrero? No one knows.

photo 5 (4)This student’s blind faith in my movie choices earn her an A.

photo 5 (5) 

These answers remind me so much of how I would have responded in high school. Good times, good times.

photo 5 (6) 

Excellent. I’m glad I caught this one.

photo 5 (8) 

photo 5 (10) photo 5 (11)

I want a T-shirt that says this. Now.


On the last day of school, I handed out a teacher evaluation to my students so they could tell me what needs changed. And I also asked for one last picture.

photo 1 (3)


photo 2 (3)

“I think you did a good job of staying calm even when you could have exploded on us.”

Thanks. I think so too.

photo 3photo 2

Clearly this student needs to read the full prompt. Because of answers like this, I have to include an explain prompt (which goes unused). Though logic tells me that if I wasn’t too strict and I wasn’t not strict, then I must have been just right.

photo 3 (3)

This student came up to me later and said he wrote something on this paper that sounded kind of gay and so he wrote “No Homo”. What has the world come to if you can’t even say “I’m going to miss you” without thinking you are gay and you are worried about that being bad. I weep for the future.

photo 5

Best answer on all of my evaluations. My class was “at the american level” of difficulty. (So I guess that means too easy.)

photo 1 (11) 

This student doesn’t want me to grow my beard back. Then again, she also is in love with a guy who has a ponytail so I can’t really trust her opinions.

photo 2 (2) 

Ok, I’m writing a letter to the Oxford English Dictionary. Hilarious from here on out should be spelled halarious. That way is has the extra HA in the beginning. It is HAlarious. 

photo 2 (12) 

Another pet peeve of mine. Just because you spell pie without the e does not mean your picture not incorporates math. Quit pretending. The zombie pie is great on its own.

photo 3 (2) 

Try not to vomit thinking about a blueberry beard pie. See that hair in the picture. Mmmm…………

photo 3 (12) 

I later saw this student acting out this picture. She was explaining to her friends that the penguin would talk in a robot voice. I. Am. A. Penguin.

photo 4 (3)

This is what I look like when I sit at my desk. That is extra long. And I wear a bumblebee costume. And have an arm growing out of my stomach.

photo 4 (12) photo 4

“We all know you have a girlfriend. I can’t believe you didn’t bring ur cookies. You should grow you beard out to touch the ground. *Your gf would like that.”

There has been a very long and ongoing investigation as to if I have a girlfriend. I never confirm or deny anything and so my students make up elaborate stories. And I think of all people, high school girls would not think that girls like guys with beards that touch the ground. Unless that’s what I have been doing wrong this entire time. Operation Long Beard begins.

photo 5 (1) photo 5 (3)

You just completed Algebra 1. I think you can doodle some more elaborate math equations.

photo 5 (12)

For some reason, when I saw this picture, I pictured myself in the Sparta gear from 300 yelling “This is MATH!!!!” And then kicking on of my students down the stairs.  (Apparently there is a video for everything already online.)


Well that’s everything I have. I hope you enjoyed the long post. Next year I will have students from every grade level so maybe some of the upper classmen can give me some quality drawings. Until next time, have a great summer!