Student Drawings Vol. 16

This batch of pictures is pretty random for the most part. I still don’t have a lot of doodlers so some of these are from other teachers. I’ll have one more batch to post at the end of the year and hopefully have more for next year.

Very clever drawing that I currently have hanging in my room. I’m hopeful that the half a zombie is Charlie Sheen. He only has one speed: BRAINS!

 

Curiosity got the better of me and I had to research what noise llamas make.

 

I don’t often try/want to figure out what is going on in my students’ heads, but for Christ’s sake, why would you draw a picture of “dirty curry”. What does that even mean?

 

While I’m not really a fan of Family Guy anymore, this is a rather great drawing of the crazy monkey. And of Peter Griffin with is ball-chin.

 

Some weird clown with the peaks of his hat coming out of the side of his face. And floating eyebrows. And weird cross pupils. Ok, at first, I didn’t think twice about this clown but now it is giving me the creeps.

 

False. Bowtie=funny.

True. Vampire fang = not funny.

So it’s a wash.

 

I told students I would pick the picture I enjoyed the most. I think I’m putting off the wrong sort of vibe if this student thinks a crackhead-bunny would win me over.

 

Oh math jokes. No matter how brilliant a math joke is, it’s still a math joke.

 

I asked their favorite shape. Apparently this person is all about triangles because they can be made into cute (and ugly) people. They must not have been paying attention when they saw the Nonagon video full of polygonal people. (And now that song will be stuck in your head all day.)

 

This board will hurt you head if you think about it too much. First there’s a weird constipated/puke face (pukestipated ©). Secondly, some sort of Mr. Peanut butterfly who is crying and flying and losing his shoes AND with a full head of hair. WTF. And thirdly, a description of a delicious meal written as if it were a poem or lyric but it just doesn’t flow. And that makes me angry. And finally their is a face with blood shot eyes that has an elephant nose. I like art, I like creativity, but this is a bit much.

 

“Dildo’s are forever”

What bothers me the most is that they made Dildo possessive rather than plural. It should be dildos or dildoes. Regardless of all that, I hope there is a porn out there mocking the James Bond franchise that is titles Dildos are Forever.

 

Not that I want this student to stop drawing pictures, but I figured she’d appreciate a little note. And the penguin does look awfully sad.

 

I like that the eye is detailed enough to have eyelids and yet the hand is a stick-hand with what appears to only be 3-4 fingers.That’s just lazy.

 

This is supposed to be me as Spongebob.

 

This makes me think of Bebop from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Yet again, I’m not sure why this student would think that this picture would win me over.

 

This student had the best picture for his class. Mostly because the pretty great drawing of me. I’m so vain, I have a garden that has HAREN spelled out in shrubbery. I guess I should add that one to the dream home bucket list.

“I don’t play games, I quit school because there was recess…”

This is a line I regularly say to this class. This student regularly draws me and I ALWAYS have HUGE ears. It’s gotten so bad that I’m almost self conscious about them. And then I realized he sucks at drawing ears. 

 

This is a picture a student drew for a circle project I gave them. I thought it was awesome.

Found on the back of a test. The real issue is that the level is not planned out. The path Pac Man is going along is a dead end and there seems to be no other way to get to the rest of the level. I wish students would think ahead sometimes. This is why I weep for the future.

 

If it was really a ninja, I wouldn’t be able to see it.

 

This student won for their class’s best picture. I said it was because the drawing was very accurate of how my classroom looked but I’m starting to think it is just because it features me. And apparently I have a torso that takes up about 80% of my body, a head that is 15% and then itty-bitty legs.

 

I actually laughed out loud when I read this. I was only slightly ashamed of that. I told this student they would have won but it isn’t really a picture.

 

At first I thought, how clever, a picture made of numbers. Then I thought, who the hell thinks they can ask me questions when I’m the one giving a test. Back off kid.

 

Ok, this student is for real. How do you not just “awwwww” when you read that.

 

This is a great zombie poem with a great illustration. This student should send this to his local congressman. No more fighting for equal rights or gay rights, zombies understand how the world should be.

 

Oddly enough, I didn’t realize until someone pointed it out, that I have never heard the term “hookie” before and yet I knew what this kid was saying. Hopefully this student goes into advertising. Ladies and Gentlemen, the next Don Draper.

 

When teachers make mistakes like this I die a little inside.

“2001 Shut off”

“13 in a Birds Den”

“12 Dollars of cents”

“3 fries in a yodel”

I know I’m getting older but I find it hard to believe that these are real sayings that this student knows. These just make me think of Charlie from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. And I actually really like the last phrase, I think I should start using it when students ask me to clarify something.

Student: “Mr. Haren, how much homework do we have tonight?”

Me: “3 fries and a yodel’s worth. It shouldn’t take you long.”

 

This picture won me over with the torn open skull and the chewed away lips. This student really gets me.

I have this exact poster in my room, ragged tape holding it up and everything. One student said it looked like me but I don’t see the resemblance.

 

Now this student knows how ninjas work.

 

DO NOT take this guy to dime-a-dog night with you.

 

I ordered Like and Dislike stamps from Amazon to stamp papers with. The students love them. They work hard to earn their Like stamp and get real pissed if I accidentally stamp it upside down.

 

Blossoming love, you gotta love it. Unless of course its balls. I don’t love balls.

 

This student should go to the eye doctor. Immediately.

 

“8 pimps in the south side”

Yep. That’s probably right. That’s what I would assign to you.

 

Again with the huge ears. And my head is caved in on either side. I think I should post some of these pictures around the community to promote funding for our art electives.

 

I like the drawing but can’t figure out the name Count Matharclula. It must be the off brand Count.

 

This is why you should do your homework.

 

And a post just wouldn’t be a post without some sort of sexual drawing. For some reason a student thought it appropriate to draw some sex next to where they put their name. Don’t bother trying to hide it at the end of the test or somewhere it might go overlooked.

 

That’s all for now. Happy doodling.

(I regretted that immediately after I typed it.) 

Student Drawings Vol. 15

Welcome back!

So I ended last school year saying I would post stuff over the summer. That clearly didn’t happen.

We are now over a quarter of the way into the school year and I have a decent selection of drawings. I had to scour the school for whatever I could find. My students aren’t big on doodling so far this year so there are several pictures from the bathroom walls. So without further ado, here are the drawings. (There are a lot of them. I tried to include links to outside sources/videos for your enjoyment as well.)

(Warning: some of the pictures contain graphic language and drawings, you have been warned)

First, a series of animals and “nice” pictures.

Sounds good to me. They should have left off the question mark to seem more confident.

Ok. This kid is going to keep me on my toes.

A nice “spider” with only 6 legs. Also a unicorn who apparently is wearing a penguin suit.

I showed Donald in Mathmagic Land one day when I was absent and asked the students to write three things they liked about the movie, three questions they had, and three things they didn’t like about the movie or math.

 

My answers to the questions are in green. I nailed the first two questions with real answers. The 3rd one I didn’t feel like researching more than my 30 second google search.

You’d think if the student failed math tests, then they would dislike stuff about math. Then again, this is an enriched student saying they “fail” at tests, which could mean they got an 85%.

I’ve shown pictures before of my zombie figurines. Here is a picture of the whole army so far. I get to build one each month, so this is this first 11. They’re pretty awesome and they guard my desk.

The jackhammer guy is probably my favorite. The zombie child with a teddy bear is the most creepy. The waiter serving brains is actually serving his own brain (which isn’t very scientifically accurate when it comes to zombies, but I’ll let it slide).

 

I like the football player too because he is really sturdy and stands up really easily. His “football” is also a human head. So he’s got that going for him.

These are both from one student’s paper. He is apparently a “husla” who can’t even spell the slang form of hustler, which is hustla. He also drew what appears to be a cross, two eyeballs in motion, and two fingers. This leads me to believe he is part of the Finger-Ball gang.

Ok. Wow. I google searched “Finger ball” to see if it’d be anything and it came up with this fantastic video. Watch it.

I think woah is going to be one of those words that Webster’s just gives up on and accepts as being a real word. Let’s home they make it quick so I can use it in Words With Friends. To be honest, I’ve gone to spell whoa before and totally blanked. It’s a weird one. 

  Students love drawing Spongebob and are surprisingly good at it. Also, this girl’s shirt is offensive. Normally I’d care but she has a weird shaped torso.

 

So a llama with a hat looks very much like a unicorn. Next time I go to the zoo, I’m bringing hats.

And a flying mustache looks the same as a normal mustache. And seriously, what kind of student draws a unicorn in a penguin suit, a llama with a hat, and a flying mustache all on the same page?

 

Someone should tell this student that there are unicorns disguising themselves as penguins.

And tell them that when you make the =D emoticon with really long eyes, it looks like a penis. I think that’s why the penguin (read: unicorn) is averting its eyes.

 

I was ready to believe this student. But after some quick research I discovered that cows in France say meuh, which comes from the verb meugler. Also, their cow looks like a pig.

The guy on the right has a pretty solid afro with a weird chunk out of it.

I cut the big cheese. Oh, and my knife is too big.

Anytime the Elephant Man gets referenced, I can’t help but think of the famous quote, “I am not an animal!”

 

I’m always happy when students know stuff from the 80s and earlier. I don’t remember my parents every saying stuff like, “oh you don’t know what ______ is”, but that’s probably because all of the awesome stuff came out in the 80s/90s. (On a side note, I saw a rerun of Hey Dude the other day, used to love it but it is incredibly boring now. It did not age well.)

 

Ok, this is actually kind of terrifying. Fortunately, it appears he still goes after bananas.

The girl on the left has no face but its ok because her shirt seems to be winking at me. And the picture on the right puts the CHRIST in christmas.

 

More Pacman love. A dinosaur stomping around. And a very accurate remark about Disney’s weird letters.

The socks picture reminds me of a children’s book. And another freaking unicorn. This one at least seems accurate.

 

 

A dancing man grabbing his crotch. And an angry Pacman ghost with a very wide soul patch. (I couldn’t find a ghost with a soul patch, so here is one with a mustache.)

The following pictures may contain vulgar language.

 

“freshman of year 2011-12 all suck cock”

“most do but not all”

I love the student on the right’s response. It’s like he was standing their peeing, and thought, “hmm…that’s a valid point, though I do have some friends in that grade, I should clear this up for him.”

 

“Black people rule”                      “rule my cock”

Again, this is so dumb but it made me chuckle. I just can’t imagine seeing something like this and having to respond.

Facebook has reached the bathroom graffiti world. This is the origin story I have created for these drawings. I think two students wrote the list on the left, which is why there are two likes in black marker. Then one of those students went to another bathroom and saw a similar list. He was so excited that he couldn’t just sign “like” he had to sign “Hell the Fuck yea”.

 

Here’s a list of drug paraphernalia. Apparently who ever edited it only uses bongs, joints, megaman blunts, and bowls. The rest of that stuff is gay. Good to know.

The following group of pictures from the prompt “draw a picture of Mr. Haren fighting someone/something”.

Any person drawn with a beard looks just like me. It is shocking really.

The picture on the right is not flattering in any way. I have a huge stomach, I’m fighting without a shirt on for some reason, and I’m getting popped in the face by someone with a go-go-gadget-arm.

 

I guess this is me punching a horse in the face. I’m ok with this.

 

Fighting a dog. It says, “And hes on the surviver show explaining the offit :P!”. I think she is saying it explains my OUTFIT. My flip flops and shorts. I actually like the fact that she was drawing this and though, no he won’t be fighting just a dog, he will be fighting a dog while on the Survivor game show.

 

“Sadly Mr. Haren lost the fight". And based on the picture on the left, I got really messed up. He punched my ears bigger. Jokes on that kid, because I messed him up so bad he can’t even keep his tongue in his mouth.

 

I’m winning this fight for once. And fortunately they labeled the beard on my face. I was worried I had a spider on my chin or something.

Here’s a gun fight with a few errors. First of all, I don’t usually shop at Wal-Mart. Second of all, I don’t think I’d shoot an unarmed student. I don’t think.

“he is getting lade out by a marrshmelow”

Scary marshmallow. Scarier spelling.

On the left I am destroying a zombie while smiling. On the right I appear to be terrified of a squirrel. Or because my arms are up, the squirrel may be robbing me.

Here I am getting laid out for real.

So this one needs a little back story. Some of my friends have discussed the idea of the school board adding in a rule at the high school which would allow for teachers to pick one student a year to punch. I may have told a couple of my classes about this idea. This picture has a couple teachers, myself included, very excited for Student Punching Day. Spread the word nationwide.

   

This appears to be a Pacman cannibal attack. And a sad/angry (sangry?) ghost.

A confiscated note. “ur A douche Bag =)”. Clever.

I love this one. “Ph’d Pot head disorder”. I think there are a number of students at our school who may have Phd’s.

Oh, what’s that? A nice hand written note in cursive. Oh. Never mind.

     Well, that’s all folks. Hopefully you enjoyed and hopefully I can get my students to start doodling more.